Just fell off a train. Bad.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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