i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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