JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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