Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
