lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
