guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
