a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I need a burrito and a hug.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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