Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
