I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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