he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Randomize
