Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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