the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
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