Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
