Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
