I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
