Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Randomize
