They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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