Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
It's just like the Real World with babies
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
