Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
