we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
