apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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