You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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