I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
