sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
