Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
