I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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