I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
