your room smells of hookers.
And success
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
