Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
