Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i jhust puked up my retainher.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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