you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I love having hate sex.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
