Where is the hickey?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
