The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I am available for nakedness
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
