did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
