she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
