hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
