READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
