I puked a lego.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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