Duck Duck Cougar?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
