marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
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