bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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