i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Randomize
