xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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