Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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