Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
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