when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
