It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
