I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
