lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
