Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
