I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
