Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
