Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
one two three fourrrrnication!
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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