I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Also, beer. Big fan.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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