So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
